she kept yelling 'call me bella'
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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