I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
