Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
