I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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