whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
