i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
