His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
