i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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