I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
