Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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