Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
