i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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