You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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