so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
