If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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