Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
