shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
