If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
BRING THE BAGELS
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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