I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
