operation harelip BJ is a go
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
