you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
