All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
