Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I am spending my child support on dildos
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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