He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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