why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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