So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
