do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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