We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
it glows. i had to have it.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
