Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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