you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
