Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
