i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
