Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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