Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
