I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Mom said you looked used
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
