Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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