Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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