So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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