Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
