im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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