do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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