Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
