Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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