Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
