I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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