WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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