But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
