I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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