she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize