I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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