So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just found a bag of teeth...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
