I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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