Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
