I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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