SEEEEXXX PLEASE
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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