you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
