marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
