For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
