I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Even my vagina gasped.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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